G.E.N.D.U.T

Tau gak apa aja yang udah gw makan hari ini?
B A N Y A K
sampe gw ga inget apa aja yang udah gw makan,
saking banyaknya...

though I avoid rice, I still eat bread, corns, and another carbs which can make me fatter and fatter each day .
:(
I don't know how to prevent my unusual eating habit.
I really wanna stop, but I can't!
when I swallow my dishes I can take a rest for a while and feel there's no burden in my life.
I feel heaven really comes to the earth.
But after that, I feel so much guilty.
I'm not bulimic , I never vomit after eating ( that's why I can't be thin )
but I really feel GUILTY.

I often say to myself:
"WHY DID I EAT THOSE RUBBISH?"

" girls don't eat that much! "

But still,
I CAN'T STOP EATING!

Finally, when my gulty feeling overwhelms, I feel ugly after all.